


If Spike Ruled the World

by Hello_Spikey



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-10
Updated: 2008-03-10
Packaged: 2019-10-29 23:04:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17817227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hello_Spikey/pseuds/Hello_Spikey
Summary: Spike has a few modest proposals.





	If Spike Ruled the World

1\. All those mass-produced American Idol wankers would be off the radio, along with their thirty thousand forbearers. Yes, I'm looking at you, Sir Elton. Instead, studio executives would be required to go to clubs, yeah, and listen to real bands, and then I won't even care if the music mostly sucks, because it'll be messy and broken and that's what reality is, kids.  
  
2\. The writer's of  _Passions_  would have to listen to a thing or two about what they're doing with my favorite characters! Oh, and the show wouldn't be canceled. Ever. And while we're on the subject, there's a list of shows I would like re-instated and a longer list of ones that have to be canceled immediately. Most notably anything with "American" or "Idol" in the title.  
  
3\. Heh, you know, after that, the rest of the world ain't so bad. Oh! No more import duty on Scotch! That's just unfair! And sod the California smoking laws! I want my tax-free ciggies and I want to smoke 'em in the middle of the hoity-toity dinner parties Peaches keeps dragging me to.  
  
4\. Speaking of the poofter, as ruler of the world, I figure it wouldn't be too much to ask the world's top scientists to develop a surgical method to remove that stick from his arse. It's for the good of humanity.  
  
5\. America will finally acknowledge that they don't speak American, they speak English. It's a bloody lift and a bloody flat! What are you in some kind of syllable contest with the Welsh? Oh, and any sport where only one bloke on the entire team ever touches the ball with his foot cannot be called "Football".  
  
6\. No one would be judged based solely on their lack of, well, soul. It's a handicap, yeah? I got over it, so can others.


End file.
